ExitNodeZulu
Member
- Joined
- Apr 15, 2025
- Messages
- 38
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Alright so real sh*t — offshorecompany.com? Don’t touch it unless you like losing time and funds. I figured I’d test drive their Nevis nominee + Belize banking combo for a proxy layer on some alt exit funds. Sounded clean on paper. Spoiler: it wasn’t. This was supposed to be a ghost-friendly nominee bank account w/ layered crypto cash-out capability. Instead, I got stuck in a month-long back-and-forth with zero final delivery — and they still tried to keep half the service fee “for processing.”
The website sells you this dream — old-school opsec vibes, “since 1906”, attorneys on staff, fat jurisdiction list, yada yada. All that means jack when their backend can’t even get a nominee PoA through bank compliance. They botched the initial KYC chain (even after I handed over scrubbed docs), then came back a week later saying the bank switched jurisdictions. That wasn’t even true — I checked. I had to escalate to three reps and still no direct nominee contact, no banking portal, and no signatory access. Just some auto-generated docs with typos and a recycled virtual address. Honestly felt like a drop-shipper running ghost corps from a laptop.
Worst part? They pretended like the issue was “client-side delay” — I got gaslit into thinking my crypto source-of-funds letter was the issue, when I’d used the exact same template with another provider 2 months earlier (who cleared it in 72 hrs, btw). They have this whole “we’ve helped thousands” shtick, but feels like they’ve helped thousands into losing money. Site might’ve worked better back in 2004, but if you’re actually running even mid-level flows now, don’t rely on these guys to be your cutout. They’re living off their Google Ads rep and selling offshore fantasy to boomers who just discovered Binance.
The website sells you this dream — old-school opsec vibes, “since 1906”, attorneys on staff, fat jurisdiction list, yada yada. All that means jack when their backend can’t even get a nominee PoA through bank compliance. They botched the initial KYC chain (even after I handed over scrubbed docs), then came back a week later saying the bank switched jurisdictions. That wasn’t even true — I checked. I had to escalate to three reps and still no direct nominee contact, no banking portal, and no signatory access. Just some auto-generated docs with typos and a recycled virtual address. Honestly felt like a drop-shipper running ghost corps from a laptop.
Worst part? They pretended like the issue was “client-side delay” — I got gaslit into thinking my crypto source-of-funds letter was the issue, when I’d used the exact same template with another provider 2 months earlier (who cleared it in 72 hrs, btw). They have this whole “we’ve helped thousands” shtick, but feels like they’ve helped thousands into losing money. Site might’ve worked better back in 2004, but if you’re actually running even mid-level flows now, don’t rely on these guys to be your cutout. They’re living off their Google Ads rep and selling offshore fantasy to boomers who just discovered Binance.
these mfers always act like they’re Interpol when they just sit on Shopify and Word docs all day
